In the sea of Tiktoks, FB reels and IG stories, I go back to blogging. I go back to electronically recording my thoughts and have them read by only me (hopefully). I need this to keep me from going crazy and not to think of “dark thoughts”.
This is very apt as the post before this is 9 years ago, with still the same thoughts (“Napag-iwanan na ata ako…” | “I have been left out…”).
I’ve recently watched #heartstopper and it gave me mixed feelings of joy and sadness. It was/is a show showing the happy/joyful side of the LGBTQ+ teen experience. It didn’t shy away from specific issues faced (homophobia, transphobia, bullying..), as if being a teenager isn’t enough. It did focus on the happy side of young love, and having the courage to stand-up, face your fears and discover who you really are.
To be honest, I missed out on these. I had a different experience as I ignored what I felt during my teenage years. I did not give them a chance to brew and boil over. I kept them inside, all until today, I guess.
I have come out to a few select friends. And it isn’t as if it wasn’t obvious to them who I really am. I can remember I had episodes of getting angry because I was jealous of two my bestfriends (both my crushes, of course! 🙂 ) dating girls.
So, this post is me writing down my feelings now and casting them into the void of the internet. I’m open to finding someone, who gives me kilig & romance, who shares some of my interest. Yung pwede kasama kahit walang mapag kwentuhan (eventually), tambay mode na walang gagawin, kape, inuman, kwentuhan. *tagalog
So please, Void! Do me a favor and let me find the one.. or someone!
..and I said what?? 